It's been so long since I remember having been on this thing... I tried to log on the other day and could not remember my user name...
hmmm

there's too much bull shit in my life right now...
which mainly stems from..... things i wish not to discuss here.
for everyone to see...
I'm more of a private person.
and that's also causing some of the tension in my life currently

which is once again... BULLSHIT

:)

i just need to get the fuck away.
from everything
and everyone
and be done
and not come back
probably not ever.


i hurt soo much... in so many ways...
and i do not believe that i could ever explain it enough that anyone else would understand.

that's why i started to go see a therapist.

i can't deal with all this bullshit.

So.
I've realized...
I hold onto anger too too too toooooooo much.

And I'll probably either die quite young because of it.
Or out live everyone I've ever known and become bitter

and wrinkly.



Eh? it happens I guess

As I've been sitting here pondering
I have come to realize that it is true.
A woman knows when she is pregnant.

I kept forcing myself to think that thought this last month, since I had a screwie period in September, and then none in October....
But all along I didn't worry at all about the things that you should if you are...
Because deep down inside I knew, there was no baby,
not this time.

I guess that I just forced myself to think that, to try to prevent anything bad from happening in case the little voice of reason that knew all a long was wrong.

But the last time the little voice of reason spoke of such things... I didn't hear her soon enough.

Hi there, this is not a scam.. or bull shit or anything, not looking for money,

There is a family in need in the milwaukee area,
there is a lot of children... the parents take in abandoned or neglected kids

but they are struggling right now to make ends meet
they could really use some help

they are in need of boys clothing
pretty much all sizes except for small, for ages 10 thru about 19
and shoes, not sure what sizes though
and toys
bikes
games

even simple everyday things like toilet tissue
or laundry soap


they are also in need of dog and cat food.

I know some people out there think that in tough times people who are 'needy' should not have pets, because of whatever

but from the sounds of it, this family is not normally in this situation.
things just got out of hand when the parents both could not work due to the mother's major surgery.

so please, if anyone can help in any way
that would be great please let me know



any extra clothes laying around the house
that have been outgrown
or just not worn anylonger

same for toys and bikes and skateboards


please let me know

i am going to be collecting these things from whom ever is willing to donate.

thank you all





as soon as i get more information on sizes i will repost and revise

PiSS BANG!

Today's Message of the Day is:

Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably,
And never regret anything that made you smile.




To recap...
NEVER REGRET THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SMILE!


I will not apologize for the things that make me smile, or laugh...
just because some people are stupid.




so there.

how's it going?


you...

i totally hate not having a job
a lot of people always say how they wish that they didn't have one and then they could just sit around the house all day doing nothing or sleeping.

well, that is all that i do EVER
and it sucks ass
i watch a lot of movies... that's the only really nice thing about it
but i have NO money
i can't do shit.
and it's gay gay gay gay gay gay gay agyaahnfklgjha


i just want to work
and not have to work with a whole lot of immature people that don't even want to be there...
and i want to make good money doing that.

kapeeshe?


ok


time to go and make that happen... but i'm so lazy

FUCK!

oh.. i have an interview tomorrow
and i have to shower
and i have to sleep
2 things... that i know i'll put off till the last freakin possible second

so lets get to procrastinating hey?

awesome.

have you ever gotten so worried and worked up about things that you vomit?

well, i just have that nagging feeling like i'm going to in my stomach.
i shouldn't let things get to me, but it is hard.


my dad's friend... well, he's really more of a family friend, we call him Grizz...
his mother is in the hospital, in pretty bad condition, and looking like she's getting worse, not better....
she had surgery or something, and then they od'd her on morphine into a comatose state, much like what we went thru with my grandmother, and they told us that she wouldn't wake up from it and they didn't know what it was from... till 3 days after she died.
well, and now, my dad just got off the phone with Grizz's brother Lary (not as fun of a name to say, but he's still a pretty cool fat guy lol) well, anyways, Grizz is like missing, he doesn't have his van cuz it broke down and is currently sitting on my dad's trailer in front of my house, and he's got 2 different phones, but no one can get thru to him on either.

tried calling the cops to have them check to make sure that he is alive, they said that Lary would have to drive a half hour to the police station, fill out a report, wait for them to fil it into their computers, and then they'd possibly get arround to it before next year... IF it seemed like a good enough reason to get their fat doughnut lovin asses out of their cozy tax payers paied for seats to bother with the life of another human being.

so instead, my dad and Grizz's brother Lary, drove over to Grizz's house themselves...
another reason that they were so worried, not like him to just dissapear when a family member or a friend needs him, and the not being able to get thru on 2! different phones, and the fact that he's aparently been using space heaters to heat h is apartment...

i'm worried sick, after Manke's dad, and then Darla and her boyfriend, and then the other person i know that died..
i just can't handle anymore of this kind of worrying.
i'm already not sleeping well, and this is going to make it even worse, untill i know that he is ok, he's like a fucking uncle to me...
the kind that doesn't steal your money and that you actually like.


anyways i've gotta go and worry in another way...
cuz livejournal is crap
and yeah...
my mom asked me to stay home to tight, so i'm going to
tends to go that way, if mom asks, i do.

it was only you.